Modville

We have a few new moderators on the team: Iconnn, Unbreakable487, TheInsanityTest, He_Who_Remains, and Vindicator (always last). You probably know them from the forums. Even though they're still young and fresh (and possibly virile), they've already shown themselves to be capable of engaging in witty banter.
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IcedBlueII: I think the initiation [for the new moderators] should be a week's worth of my face in their signature or avatar.

TheInsanityTest: We want to haze them, not kill them.

Clap: I believe I make the rules around here, and if I deem they are worthy of death for their terrible moderating ability, death it will be.

Unbreakable487: I volunteer [Vindicator].

chaosTheory_s3: Well, now that you mention it, virgin sacrifice has been mighty successful in the past. This is an idea worth exploring.
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The new mods have quickly taken on their responsibilities, eager to help clean up these forums and then keep the forums clean. I've seen at least a handful of negative comments from users about our selections, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to hoping that they keep a level head, minus Vindicator who's already en route to an authoritarian power trip.

Remember, keep using the "Report Bad Post" button. It helps. Also, if you're going to leave someone a nasty negative-reputation comment, make sure you don't hit the "Report Bad Post" button and send that message to the entire moderating team instead. We don't take kindly to that kind of talk.

I leave to go to school in a few hours.
I'm bringing my Major League Gaming shirt.

<3, GEPH2K

are consistently excellent.

I figured it was time for an update.

Never thought I'd walk away from you
I did
But it's a false sense of accomplishment
Every time I quit...


Oh, but I got moderator powers back.



<3

The Aeneid.

Arma amens capio; nec sat rationis in armis,
sed glomerare manum bello et concurrere in arcem
cum sociis ardent animi; furor iraque mentem
praecipitat, pulchrumque mori succurrit in armis.

Insane, I seize my weapons. There's no sense
in weapons, yet my spirit burns to gather
a band for battle, to rush out against
the citadel with my companions. Rage
and anger drive my mind. My only thought:
how fine a thing it is to die in arms.


I wonder when I'll get Moderator powers back.
Not like much can be done right now anyways.



<3

MLG_KnoX> i accidentally went to this gay bar once
MLG_KnoX> it was crazy
MLG_KnoX> everyone in there was gay
MLG_KnoX> even the guy i was dancing with

`G> I play more Peach/Falco these days
`G> But I like Marth
`FoKuZ|fokuzgaming[dot]com> hmm
`nexy|fokuzgaming[dot]com> stay away from peach
`nexy|fokuzgaming[dot]com> shes mine
`FoKuZ|fokuzgaming[dot]com> im more of a bowser kind of guy
`G> Peach and I are tight though
`G> We hung out the other day
`G> So
`G> Too bad?
MLG_KnoX> peach gave me syphilis
|FTS|Wags> pooper invented syphilis
`FoKuZ|fokuzgaming[dot]com> peach gave me way more then syphilis..you got lucky
MLG_KnoX> pooper was a dirty bastard
|FTS|Wags> Hah
`G> KnoX - I thought you were immune to STDs?
Wags> STD's aren't immune to him, however.
MLG_KnoX> I am, I still get them, they just dont affect me. I actully have an impressive collection
Wags> He is the #1 killer.
Wags> of spreading STDs
`G> I see.
`G> That makes more sense.
MLG_KnoX> It;s inevitable. My semen is fire so condoms don't provide much of a barrier
Gheights> if your semen is fire then what do your balls feel like
Wags|FireSemen> You really wanna know that Gheights?
KnoX|KnoXGizaming[> Jenny McCarthy compared them to caldrons?



<3

Orlando.

Top 8
1. Azen
2. Chu Dat
3. KoreanDJ
4. Isai
5. Ken
6. Mew2King
7. Hugs
8. Chillin

Whatever Azen keeps in that classified-intel Nintendo bag of his that he has with him at all times (on his lap when he plays)... it's powerful and dangerous. He defeated so many with its dark secrets.

Congrats to all, but mainly Azen.
Also, Isai finished above Ken. Don't see that too often, eh?



<3

So, I was in IRC today...

JoeBlow&gt; quote this: Carbon will get 2nd in Orlando
JoeBlow&gt; But quote it as somebody else
`G&gt; i'm sorry [REAL NAME REMOVED LOL]
JoeBlow&gt; Because I'm not allowed to make predictions
`G&gt; I'm afraid I can't do that.
JoeBlow&gt; make the name 'JoeBlow'
`G&gt; done.
JoeBlow&gt; Just so we're being discreet...
JoeBlow&gt; 1) Foul Ball
JoeBlow&gt; 2) Oxygen
JoeBlow&gt; 3) Thunder Capitalists
JoeBlow&gt; 4) Curved tear
JoeBlow&gt; 5) Entrance Healing
JoeBlow&gt; 6) Take Two Gaming
JoeBlow&gt; 7) Mythology
JoeBlow&gt; Vanity Gaming
JoeBlow&gt; I couldn't think of a way to disguise that one

We'll see. We'll see.



&lt;3

dynomike> I Think
dynomike> Xit will pull a top 3 Finish
dynomike> you heard it from here first
dynomike> actualyl
dynomike> QUOTE ME ON IT
dynomike> XIT WILL REPEAT A CHICAGO LAST YEAR PERFORMANCE
* dynomike was kicked by ][dirtyJ][-_- (Caps abuse - 100%)
* dynomike has joined #mlg
dynomike> 2nd
dynomike> Place
dynomike> quote me on it
`G> okay.
`G> 1 sec, lemme get to the blog page.
dynomike> lol
dynomike> you *****
dynomike> lol
dynomike> if your gonna blog it
dynomike> mine as well blog this
dynomike> i love men
dynomike> there you go
dynomike> now everyone knows

We'll see.



<3

http://qwerqwer1234.hp.infoseek.co.jp/mudah/mudah.swf

WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY



<3

[Gran_Calc] Okay, does anyone remember me saying earlier
[Gran_Calc] that
[Gran_Calc] Orlando will be the location of my downfall?
[Gr4ph1x|Dextro] your downfall?
[Gran_Calc] Yes.
[Gran_Calc] Well, I've known for the past several hours
[Gran_Calc] about this: http://www.mlgpro.com/news/Orlando_Halo_2_4v4_Expanded_to_208_Teams%2521_Pass es_on_Sale_at_7%2521/1.html
][dirtyJ][
][dirtyJ][ wtf
[Gran_Calc] What was just posted now
][dirtyJ][ OMG
[Gran_Calc] I've known about for the past several hours
[Gran_Calc] And I dreaded the fact, alone.
[Gr4ph1x|Dextro] zomg
[[DC]GePH] Yeah, now I understand what you mean.
[Gran_Calc] That is why I said that it will be the location of my downfall.

Good luck, Calc. Good luck to all of staff, actually. Keep on rockin'.



&lt;3

From IRC #mlg
[in reference to the rest of this season]

[IHeartPlaz] SV will win beat FB in one series atleast
[IHeartPlaz] someone setinfo that
[HCxN00BI3] haha
[IHeartPlaz] SV will beat FB in one series atleast
[IHeartPlaz] ONE SERIES
[IHeartPlaz] UNO

Bold call, Plaztec.



&lt;3

I bet you thought this was going to be about my thoughts on how MLG will evolve in future seasons.
Ha.

I probably tricked all 2 of my readers.

Anyways.

I find myself growing more and more distant from the rest of the MLG community these days. Hanging out in IRC #mlg is virtually the only interaction I have with anyone these days, seeing as I rarely play Halo 2 and I can never make it to any events.
However, in light of recent unexpected developments, that last bit might change as soon as, say... MLG Orlando.

By the way:
The 2006 MLG Pro Circuit comes to the USA Network on November 11th at 10AM EST.

As far as Chicago goes, well, all I gotta say is there were certainly some unexpected victories and losses.

I'm thinking I need a new color scheme and/or header image.



&lt;3

Trunkers.
He's a forum moderator, a permanent ref at events, and a features writer.
Is there nothing this man can't do?
I would imagine that in some past time, he was a sage, based on this image I found on his Photobucket:

That's right... Trunkers is somehow connected to Pai Mei. My best guess is that he spent his high school years - rather than going to high school, which he probably finished in middle school anyways - training under the legendary master.
He went to college for engineering. However, he says that engineering no longer interests him. I can only imagine this is because he was studying engineering in the first place so that he could figure out how to design a structure that could withstand more than a handful of blows from his mighty fists of fury. Feet, too.
So what is he up to now? He's moving soon, and probably going to work as the manager of a Williams-Sonoma.
This means, of course, that as manager he will have access to a virtually unlimited supply of bad-ass Japanese knives and other gourmet kitchen implements ripe for throwing. Personally, I'm glad to be on his good side.

Respect Trunkers.



<3

Disclaimer: Don't steal Nexy's idea.

nexy: yo
nexy: u guys wanna hear my idea?
Mr Phonix: lets hear it
nexy: u cant tell anyone
Trash Ketchum: yes everyone except me is challenge cup
GEPH2K: ok shoot nexus
Trash Ketchum: they're in red so they are
nexy: ok me annd one of my good friends
nexy: are going to run our own porn site
nexy: we are going to star in our own porns
Trash Ketchum: ewwwww
nexy: basiclly we will take email submissions
Trash Ketchum: this server has problems
nexy: of peoples "fantasies"
Mr Phonix: oh god, thats good ass money
DyNoMiKe: rofl
nexy: and we will act them out on girls
DyNoMiKe: EZ money
nexy: like we will dress up as pokemon
nexy: and ****
Mr Phonix: hahaha
nexy: our motto is
Trash Ketchum: everyone get off challenge cup
DeToXx: ..lol
DyNoMiKe: i was thinking about doing that when i turn 18
nexy: "Whatsyourfantasy.com, we will **** you in a monkey suit"
DyNoMiKe: LOL
Mr Phonix: haha
GEPH2K: ...
Mr Phonix: omfg
nexy: how amazing is my porn site going to be?
GEPH2K: um
nexy: if you steal my idea i swear to god ill ****ing **** you
DyNoMiKe: ...
Mr Phonix: thats some good money
Trash Ketchum signed off.
GEPH2K: don't tell anyone on mlg
DyNoMiKe: i'm steal your idea
DyNoMiKe:
nexy: you know you will all sign up for my ****
nexy: to watch me
nexy: and laugh
nexy: you will get off and LAUGH
Mr Phonix: lmao
nexy: LAUGHTERBATE
nexy: LAUGHING-OFF
DeToXx: touche..
nexy: it will be a new trend
DyNoMiKe: "nexy please pound this chick with a master chief helmet on"-dynomike
DyNoMiKe:
DyNoMiKe: haha
nexy: YES EXACTLY
nexy: I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE TO GET ONE
Mr Phonix: i wonder how much you can charge people per month to do that
DyNoMiKe: smart
nexy: DUG HAS ONE SITTING IN HIS LIVING ROOM

Dre is crazy.



<3

FB takes the championship in 3 games.
Probably because Ogre1 was using a pink icon.
So, congrats to all the champions, and mad props to Dope/Fastliketree for 2nd place in Smash 2s.



<3

Joe Dyslexia lost.
Sigh.



<3

Sundance v. Dyslexia.

I have never faced either of these fellows, nor seen them play, so I have no idea how good they comparatively are.
However, just to go against the flow, I picked Dyslexia to win in 3.
Here's to hoping!

Anyways, here is one of my favorite Penny Arcade comics.
"The Forbidden Fruit"
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/03/03



By the way I now have time to play Halo 2 again. Add me, my gamertag is GEPH2K.
I'm probably gonna go buy "The Alphabet of Manliness" by Maddox tomorrow, review to come soon.



<3

I picked up the first Penny Arcade book, "Attack of the Bacon Robots" (amazon) yesterday.
It's excellent.
Penny Arcade is, to me, wildly entertaining. The writing is excellent.
If you haven't picked it up, I would reccommend it.
Also, I would reccommend "The Alphabet of Manliness" by Maddox. More info on that book can be found at http://www.alphabetofmanliness.com/

I really have little time to visit MLG these days.

Basically, the forums have gone downhill.
And it's really looking like I won't be able to make it to any events this year.

Things fall apart, what can I say?

“Time is not a line, but a dimension, like the dimensions of space.”

“Um, no, time is like a clock, you’re so dumb. Really, it saddens me that you’d find that plausible. Just get out before I throw a shoe at you.” Einstein was disappointed. This was the 5th time he had been ousted by another German professor. ‘What are you, a Nazi?’ he wanted to ask. Sadly, his new theory about generalizing relativity wasn’t a best-seller right off the bat. Einstein was hungary; after all he had just crossed the border in the South. He needed food, but more importantly he needed money. Upon leaving the University and avoiding the Panzer tanks, he sat on a bench and reflected.

“Damn you Neptune!” he cursed, punching through the bench and burying his arm in the concrete. He pulled out and slowly walked away, muddled by his own mind. How could zis happen to mee? He reflected. Einstein sauntered down the road and saw a sign on a patent office reading, “Hier sind einige schönen Kartoffelnhungersnöte für alle Badezimmer, preiszugeben hoo hawl” (or in English, ‘help wanted’). His previous job working as a strip club bouncer didn’t quite work out the way he had planned—after all, he needed better pay. He head butted the door to the patent office down and walked to the front desk.

“Das es Klaus.” said Deir Sekretareir

“Ja, boot, I needz verk!” he protested. “Ahnd yoo haz zee sign dat sez ‘Hier sind einige schönen Kartoffelnhungersnöte für alle Badezimmer, preiszugeben hoo hawl’”

“Ja, ja, goot peoint.” Deir Sekretareir said. “Zok, if yoo can seolve diz problem, I vill give you zee jorb.”

Deir Sekretareir reached down behind his desk and pulled out a Cutnell & Johnson 6th Edition Physics book, flipped to page 935.

“Fusion is the process by which the sun produces energy.” He began, reading the problem, “One experimental technique for creating controlled fusion utilizes a sold-state laser that emits a wavelength of 1,060nm and can produce a power of 1.0 X 1014 W for a pulse duration of 1.1 X 10-11 seconds. In contrast, the helium/neon laser used at the checkout counter in a bar-code scanner emits a wavelength of 633 nm and produces a power of about 1.0 X 10-3 W. How long (in days) would the helium/neon laser have to operate to produce the same number of photons that the solid-state laser produces in 1.1 X 10-11 seconds?”

“21 days.” Einstein replied. Deir Sekretareir’s head then proceeded to explode and Einstein took his seat.

A few months later, he was filling out some form whose name I can’t pronounce nor really care that much about to elaborate on, but the form itself had a particular scent. Kind of reminiscent of paper, but it had more Deoxyribonucleic acid than usual. A fresh, zesty smell like that of a soap or laundry commercial flooded his nose.

“Ahk, ello Einschtein!” his supervisor said behind him

“Ello” he said

“Did yhou du it?”

“Du what”

“Du hast”

“Du hast?”

“Du hast meich”

“Oooh,” he said, “ja, I have dun eit.”

“Rahmschtein!” he shouted in elation. Der Seuperveiseor was of course referring to the 84-E form. The 84-E form was the successor to the 83-D form, which allowed safe passage to the United States to work on the ‘atomic bomb project’ as it was codenamed. The new form, however, renamed the project to the ‘Manhattan’ project, probably because the Americans were trying to build a bomb out of Manhattan in an effort to scare off the Germans from the east coast.

This, of course, meant that Der Seuperveiseor was headed to the United States. Einstein desperately wanted to go there, but had not yet come across a way of transversing the Atlantic. He had trained for years in endurance swimming, but he figured that sinking to the bottom and running would be easier, since he saw it on a German-dubbed episode of Looney Tunes. Damn you Bugs Bunny!, he had always lamented whenever he wasn’t not combing his hair.

So anyway, back to that form I was talking about earlier. Einstein held it in his hands, filled out for Der Seuperveiseor. Instead of handing it to him, he punched Der Seuperveiseor in the crotch so hard it shattered his collarbone, dropping him to the ground instantaneously. Einstein leaped out the window and heard the alarm go off. Across the street was a tank that looked very similar to the one used in the James Bond film Goldeneye starring Peirce Brosnan, Sean Bean and Izabella Scorupoco. Einstein leaped in, and drove the tank through a bakery, crushing all innocent pastries in the fray. All sorts of fat, chubby, German children ran away screaming at the top of their lungs, scared and terribly sad for the loss of the chocolate filled doughnuts of delicious delightfulness.

Quickly, those loser European smaller-than-a-thumbnail-that-go-EEEEEEEEE-with-such-poorly-designed-sirens-that-make-your-ears-go-emo police cars joined in hot pursuit, like that hit videogame for the Sony Playstation, only with way better graphics and a tank.

In a troubled haste, Yingwe Malmsteen’s grandmother’s mother at the tender age of 109 years old was crossing the street with a baby carriage, RIGHT IN THE LINE OF THE TANK! WHAT WAS EINSTEIN TO DO?! Einstein quickly turned the tank to the left, crushing the carriage but saving the old woman, who then gave birth to quite possibly the most insane Swedish bass/guitar/drum player at least I’ve ever seen off illegally downloading music websites (Don’t worry, though, the carriage was filled with old cans, because I was too cheap to actually kill a real baby for this story. Maybe if I had the funds…).

Einstein continued down the street at the high speeds of a tank (about 3-5 miles per hour) before eventually crashing it into the water. Or did it? Recent theories about ‘sinking due to the Archimedes principle’ are only the secular version of falling to the bottom of bodies of water. What the Germans never taught (for some bizarre reason) was the theory of Intelligent Sinking. Because the laws of science in the field of sinking have such holes in them, we should teach both sides of the theory, which involves the guided hand of some ‘intelligent sinker’ to help bring things down to the ocean depths. For example, the Titanic, referred to as ‘unsinkable’ by the scientific community, SANK! What causes an unsinkable ship to sink? Surely science can’t explain such divine intervention of complexity! According to the Bible (Austin 3:16), “And thy lord bringuth thee to thy slimy depths of what science can’t explain, durrr.” While Einstein believed he sank due to ‘gravity’ (see Intelligent Falling), in truth he was brought down to the bottom of the Rhine by the grace of some intelligent force. I’m not saying what, but just some force that has enough ‘creative talent’ to engineer a perfectly working universe (Xenu?).

So the tank continued sinking due to whatever forces could be drawn off a vector diagram on it until it eventually came to the bottom of the river Rhine. Einstein happened to pick the tank that had the new, experimental deep-sea…um…thing that allowed it to go underwater without leaking thing. I’m not sure what exactly it was called, but it had the words ‘flux capacitor’ in it and had a bunch of blinking lights that looked really cool. Believe me, it really did look cool. It was like having your brain beat out by a gold brick wrapped in a slice of lemon cool.

Enough rambling and back to the action chase. Einstein rolled up out of the river and into a small, Polish town. He back-flipped out of the tank and saw the army of Nazis approaching over the horizon; using the sheer power of mind-boggling derivation, he wrote in chalk in the street an equation that solves for everything in the 1940 edition of Encyclopedia Britannica, creating a rift in the fabric of space-time into which the Panzer tanks fell. However, as history tells us, this did not stop the invasion of Poland. Arnold Schwarzenegger warped in and was all, “lol, I pwn teh noobzors” and then blew up Poland by flexing his gigantic biceps. This is how World War II started. Arnold and Einstein then had a 6 year long arm wrestling match which ended in the bombing of Hiroshima.

One day, many eons later, Einstein and Max Planck were playing each other in Mortal Kombat Trilogy, a smash hit fighter game for Nintendo 64. Einstein had just lp-canceled and went into Sub Zero’s 5-hit uppercut combo and slid for the finish. The 24th game Planck had lost had officially pissed him off so much that he and Einstein decided to place a bet. Planck said that Einstein would win if the universe didn’t explode in the next 5 seconds. Einstein countered with his theory of general relativity. The quantum-dynamic-ocity proposed by Planck stood by his side. The rest is known as “The Matchoff”. Planck and Einstein stood face to face for 2 hours and then violently pointed at each other. The sheer intensity between the two collapsed all of space time into a singularity which then expanded intensely within 1 x 10^-43 seconds, effectively creating the universe.

It ended in a tie.





By the way, no MLG events for GEPH2K this year, it looks like.
Unfortunate.