my profile

[font=white][color=white]Well as you may of may not know, Im a golf nut. I love golf, I simply can't get enough of it. I'm a meber at Glen Meadows, a local course. Its not the best but it's close. My friend told me that they were having the Jr. club championships this week, (thursday and friday, it was tuesday) So I called them up and registerd. My group teed off at 11:15am. I decied that a nice hour and half would be nice to warm up. Since I've been having terrible problems with my shot (I've been mad hooking it, so I took a lesson wensday night) When I should up, my friend that told me about the tournament was their so I signed in, and got a small bucket of balls to warm up, (about 30 balls). It was going pretty good I was hitting far and straight, I finished my bucket and went over to the putting greens. Now since the beggining of the season, my putting has been nuts i was aceing holes and two putting like money. Today it wasn't there, and it hurt me, so after 20 minutes of putting i decided to test my luck at chiping another part of my game that isn't as strong as I'de like it to be. I was doing this neat drill I had learnt on the golf chanelle and my chipping seemed to be doing good. Our group was the last of 3 to leave. The first hole is a 480 yard par 4. I went first in my group, I teed it up and just smacked the piss out of my drive. Farthest in my group so i hid my second shot last. I drove it a wooping 280 yards on my first drive of the day. Now let me tell you something I have a handicap factor of 21.6 I can hit shots just the ones that are off, are off. So to hit a 280 yard drive isn't something the average golfer does. For my second shot I was 200 yards away, so I pulled out my 4 iron. What an amazing shot, I hit it soooo clean so pure, landed about 5 feet short of the flag, but to the left of the green by a foot. chiped it on only to 3 putt and finish with a 6. On the second hole I pretty much did a repeat I drove it a good 260-270, landed 130 away from the green. Right between clubs, or so I thought, I decided to go with the shorter club my pitching wedge because their's a swamp on the back side, I hit it perfectly took out a little divot after contact. The tragectory was nice pure and high, but too far I ended up rolling it into the swamp. Well i could see my ball and it was only like an inch under water in the muck. so I decided because it was a tournament and I didnt want to take a penalty stroke I'de play it from their like in the PGA. I didnt have a stace the ball was behind my back foot which is really akward. I took a full swing at it with my 56 degree sand wedge and, OMG I didn't expect what happend to happen. Mud when everywhere all over my shorts my shirt my face and meck and my hat. I completly forgot about the ball and just started to laugh along with everybody in my group. Took me a good 5 minutes to whipe the mud off my face, only to finish with a 6. Im going to save you the pain and boring ness of my next 6 holes because nothing special happend except for the ***** lady marshelle telling us to hurry up and that ****ed my up. On the 9th hole a 550 yard par 5, I hit an average drive pretty far, about where it normaly goes for me on that hole, I took out my 3 iron for my next shot and ****ed it up, i hooked it into the dry ditch 150 yards away from the hole, For my third shot i took out my 8 iron for 150, I was in the dry ditch that was grown over with grass. The ball was below my feet by a foot and it was thick in their, so it wasn't a nice lie, I choked down on my 8iron and did a light swing, it flew off the club like i had just hitten it from the fairway, one hoped on the green and hit the flag, I two putted for par, Nothing really spcial happend on the back nine cept for loosing balls and hitting my 60 degree lob wedge 90 yards after it cliping a tree and choking infront of every one of the Jrs in the tourny on my last putt. It was good fun Im deffenetly out of contension for low score after that round, but if im lucky I might get low score w/ handicaps (low net)
So wish me luck, I certanly hope I preform better tomorrow. Pce

[font=white][color=white]
[block][font=white]Heres what I want you to do.

First, disconnect your xbox from all of its cables.
Next, grab a sledgehammer
Then, raise your sledgehammer over your head
Finally, bring the sledgehammer down and crush your xbox

If somehow you find the courage, you could always jump off of a bridge and save yourself the trouble of having to buy a sledgehammer


[/block]
quote by Who Is Fire765?

[font=white][color=white]Wow, the favorite button of all time the boot button, to everybody it just seems that when ever they see that button they can't help but press it. am i right like its their and why not push it, and then everyonce and a while you get that special boot button where the guy did nothing to you and BAM it apperes why not push it. PWFF so what you loose a teammate and most likly the game who cares, you get to push the great scarid button, that bungie smartly added to their woundergame. Isnt it just great.

[color=white][font=white] Well it seems that in my resent amount of blog spamming I have made it into the top 30 in blog spam (without even trying this time) I discoverd this while searching for xXx's blog weird eh? Maybe now I'll run for president of cahnahdah

[color=white]It was a monday morning just like any other nice day woke up late went on to the computer. this was a special day I decidded to change my signature and avatar. My signature change went off without a hitch then i decided to change my anti-emo avatar to something else i delted the current one and then it happend the error [block]There has been an error in the upload. Please ensure that the file has been correctly selected and that the upload has taken place successfully.[/block] well now im avatar less and depressed.

[color=white]OMFG Travis wow pulled off the ****ing double backflip on his dirtbike. wow just wow

[color=white] seriously leave a comment if you are the 20th person to leave a comment ill reward u some how just do it

I decided to go with a nice light firefox theme to go with the light colourd desktop theme i picked today isnt it just cool, now i just have to do a little spring cleaning

I love drew and I love to 1v1 him THE GAME note the kills and deaths and how the **** did he get an assist?

[00:32] <reject> dirty for mod abuse

[00:32] <][dirtyJ][> go for it reject

[00:32] *** reject has been kicked by VanishingHero (reject)



****?

It's been a long time since I posted a blog so I thought I would post one. This blog is for all you future writers or unlucky kids that have to write **** for english class and such.

How too right gooder


Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatements.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice should not be used.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors- even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Dont use commas, that, are not, necessary.
Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
Never use a big word where a diminutive alternative would suffice.
Subject and verb always has to agree.
Be more or less specific.
Placing a comma between subject and prerdicate, is not correct.
Use youre spell cheller tp avoid mispelling and to catch typographical errers.
Dont't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Dont be redundant.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Don't never use no double negatives.
Always avoid aliteration.
Propsitions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague- they're old hat.
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abberviations ect.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
Parenthentical words however must be enclosed in commas.
It is wrong to ever split an infinative.
Contractions aren't necessary.
Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
Comparisonts are as bad as cliches.
Don't be redundant; don't use more words than nexessary; it's highly superflous.
It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
Avoid archaeic spellings too.


If you can understand that then you are set to be the next best author or essay writer of ever.

[color=white]I HATE SOLITAIRE

Ide just like to give a shout out to pink for making my sick new header!

Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do,
and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women.

Someone recently sent me an email titled 26 things a perfect guy would do. I thought "hmm, nobody could possibly send me anything so stupid, it can't possibly be as dumb as it sounds." I stand corrected. The email was just as advertised: a wish list of how women supposedly want men to act, as if men in this country weren't already an episode of Friends away from turning into giant walking vaginas.

I never thought I'd ever read anything that would induce my gag reflex so quickly, and this is after having read the details of an anal prolapse that a friend sent me tonight. Here is the abridged list (because the full list might literally cause you to barf on your keyboard, and frankly, it's not worth reading), followed by my response to each "thing" that a "perfect guy would do:"

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
When will women realize that they don't live on the set of a romantic comedy? Unless making you smile involves me playing video games while you cook me a steak, you're in for a disappointment. You don't think guys ever feel "down?" The door swings both ways, *****.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
What? Why the hell would I want to smell a woman's hair? It smells bad enough with all the sprays and perfume they use. Enough with the conditioners, sprays, and cream already; that **** makes my eyes water. What the hell is conditioner anyway?

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
Translation: bail you out when you fail at life, but never bring it up during conversations.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.
This one is inherently stupid because it implies that all guys like to watch "the game." Since I'd rather be shot in the chest with projectile diarrhea than watch "the game," I'll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the ***** down if she touches your remote.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
LAME. Who has time for this? Sounds like something out of a herpes commercial where some lady is rock climbing or doing something else which symbolizes her independence, then out of nowhere she blurts out "I HAVE HERPES." The music gets all serious and you hear a voice over "...there is no cure," cue inspirational music "but treatment is available." Then it cuts to a shot of the ***** on a beach and a guy runs up behind her and puts his arms around her. Good job dumbass, you're dating a skank with herpes.

6. Play with your hair.
Again with the hair? Women never play with the hair on my back, why the double standard?

7. His hands always find yours.
This is one of those things women read and say "AWW HOW ROMANTIC." I have news for you: holding hands is stupid. Women don't know the first thing about being romantic. Only lesbians hold hands anyway; allow me to explain. The only time it's acceptable to hold hands with anyone is if you're at a peace vigil. Guys don't go to peace vigils, period. If you do, you have to surrender your balls and get a sex transplant because you're a *****; in either case, you're a woman, and when two women hold hands it can only lead to one thing as far as I'm concerned.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Bull****. When I want something, I yell. If she can't hear me in the kitchen, sometimes I'll threaten beatings if I'm sober.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.
For your boobs maybe. I happen to have the uncanny ability to massage breasts. With my mouth.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.

11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
See, this is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to **** like this, then they want you to "react cutely" instead of, say, putting them in a head lock and making them eat ants and/or spiders while you give them carpet burn. Why don't women react "cutely" when men hit them for a change? Oops, I forgot, that's domestic abuse.

12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we'd fill up the air with so much pollution that we'd all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding.

13. Stare at you.
You stupid attention seeking whore, just buy the ***** a mirror, because apparently she thinks that you don't have anything better to do than to sit around and stare at her. If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.

14. Call for no reason.
Oops, this one belongs on the list of "Twenty-six things women do that piss men off because they need to fill their otherwise vapid lives with something to make them feel like they have a purpose for existing as they eventually realize that they're pissing their youth away on stupid bull**** like fashion trends."

I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my **** in the oven.


property of www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com

Believe it or not you can read it...

I cnuolt blveiee taht i cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht i was rdanieg the phaonmneal pweor of the hmian mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at cmabrigde uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the fsrit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can slitl raed it wouthit a porbelm. tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Scuh a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed typoglycemia
Strange eh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas tuohght slpeling was ipmorantt.

So today was like any other day, a quite lonly day for me. Till thrid block our class went into the library and i was just standing their looking at something i guess and one of my firends came over and started to laugh at me then walked away, I walked over to him and some of my other friends who were their for some homework or something i dont know. anyways one was like "ryan where u just talking to a girl?" i said no they all laughed.pretty much we just started talking then one of them who used to play halo2 but now plays source was all like dude ryan have u ever touched a girl and it continued to my firends amausment, then he told me i had to go swiming with him this friday i said i cant cuz im fat. pretty much they decided i needed to stop posting and talking to emos on this forum and said i needed to start working out, pretty much i got this pass to go to the gym for xmas and still havnt used it once one reason is nobody will go with me and im too selfconsious to go by myself. then they said go with graham i had said i cant cuz he didnt want to go with me becasue for somestrange reason he acts really strange around me like avoids me now like we used to be best of friends,anywho i said he acts *** around me they asked why. Well he's been acting *** around me since that night in the summer he selpt over. Turns out that didnt come out to well, they asked what happend i said he came over we went swimming in my pool (to fat to swim in public) then we played some xbox at dinner played some more xbox watched some p0rn played some more xbox and went to bed then woke up and played some more xbox and swam again. so I learnt today that apperently i had sexual relations with my friend in the summer... now we cant decide if it was me or him but they yah you get the point..

You are gazing into the pixels of moral decay.

Well this is simple what downloader so you use? I use Bit torrent for torrents and Limewire for everything else. you?

Funiest blog ever

Commander worf gets owned

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*Ricky.. says: That's what Ali said to me
*Ricky.. says: We kept going on about drinking
*Ricky.. says: She wants me to go drinking with her.
ryan. ftw says: go fr it. tonight
*Ricky.. says: Not tonight
*Ricky.. says: Going to talk to my dad
*Ricky.. says: ****!!!!!!
ryan. ftw says: and ask him if u can go drinking?
*Ricky.. says: No
*Ricky.. says: I'm going to tell him a hot girl wants me to go drinking with her and I need some booze
*Ricky.. says: =)
ryan. ftw says: lol wtf

[/block]

[block]
ryan. ftw says: dude im in **** i just gave my dad my report card =(
Spencer says: ****ty
Spencer says: does that mean bye bye ryan?
Spencer says: =(
ryan. ftw says: prolly
ryan. ftw says: ill be dead after tonight
ryan. ftw says: he'll like smuther me in my sleep
Spencer says: nooooooooooo
Spencer says: that bastard
ryan. ftw says: come protect me spencer and bring ur br and stickys it'll be a long night
Spencer says: ahahahaha
Spencer says: I'll camp top bunk
Spencer says: raaaape
ryan. ftw says: lol
ryan. ftw says: only if i get dual smgs
Spencer says: aka hotwheels cars taped together
ryan. ftw says: deal
ryan. ftw says: so you enjoy taking out crazy crack addicts in front of malls eh?
Spencer says: lmao
Spencer says: based on a true story
Spencer says: but names and actual events have been altered
ryan. ftw says:no they havnt
Spencer says: lmao
Spencer says: yeah u got me
[/block]

[block]

ryan. ftw says:
why dont u talk dirty to me? am i too ugly?
Spencer says:
i thought u were taken now
ryan. ftw says:
me taken by who?
Spencer says:
i dunno
Spencer says:
Max?
Spencer says:
hes hot enough for ya
ryan. ftw says:
yah were going strong but he's laking something he just doesnt quite do it for me like you do
ryan. ftw says:
http://x10.putfile.com/4/9617370371.gif
Spencer says:
lmao
Spencer says:
a big penis
Spencer says:
?
ryan. ftw says:
yah and ur sexcynise
Spencer says:
and halo skrillz
ryan. ftw says:
that too
ryan. ftw says:
but mainly u no how i new ur sexy?
ryan. ftw says:
cuz u work the window at miccy ds like they dont put udly ppl on the window unless ur in duncan
ryan. ftw says:
did i creep u out?
Spencer says:
hahahaha
Spencer says:
raape

[/block]
[block]

dr3w good job fb says:
**** IT
dr3w good job fb says:
THAT WAS ****ING BULL ****
dr3w good job fb says:
I MELLEFD HIM 2WICE AND ****ING GRANDAE
ryan. ftw says:
dude just chill it was a ****ty host dude
dr3w good job fb says:
LIKE COME
dr3w good job fb says:
ON
ryan. ftw says:
dude its ok
dr3w good job fb says:
I BROKE MY CONTORLLER
ryan. ftw says:
no u didnt its ok
dr3w good job fb says:
YAHH I DID I STOMPED IT
ryan. ftw says:
lol wow
dr3w good job fb says:
nah im jk
dr3w good job fb says:
but like wtf
dr3w good job fb says:
dude the elite is ****ing dumb
dr3w good job fb says:
why was i that lol
dr3w good job fb says:
grrrr
ryan. ftw says:
wowow wtf
ryan. ftw says:
doesnt even matter they were bad
dr3w good job fb says:
yahh man
ryan. ftw says:
u just got too into it
dr3w good job fb says:
****
dr3w good job fb says:
yahh
ryan. ftw says:
come back on?
dr3w good job fb says:
cant
dr3w good job fb says:
my mom wants me off
dr3w good job fb says:
she herde me yelling
ryan. ftw says:
so what am i gonna do now
dr3w good job fb says:
its like 10 anyways
dr3w good job fb says:
brb
dr3w good job fb says:
major piss
ryan. ftw says:
yah kk its ok
dr3w good job fb says:
jeez
dr3w good job fb says:
**** the elite tho it cant melle
dr3w good job fb says:
lol

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more to come